


Baby It's Cold Outside

by Sairyn



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Feelings, M/M, Pre-Mike Ross/Harvey Specter, Realization
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-03
Updated: 2015-12-03
Packaged: 2018-05-04 16:50:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5341391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sairyn/pseuds/Sairyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When your entire world is crumbling at your feet, everything becomes crystal clear. Or, when Harvey discovers his feelings in the midst of chaos.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Baby It's Cold Outside

The offices at Pearson Specter have long been empty. Everyone finally fleeing from the massacre that will no doubt be called the "battle for the soul of the company". It was epic, filled with laughter, smiles, high fives and even a few anxious tears. But only a select few know the real cost of this “victory”. As Jessica rose to leave, her hand gently squeezing Harvey’s shoulder, she gazed into the lawyers eyes with a flicker of understanding, of gratitude and of respect for the boy who once dared her to believe that he could be better than anyone else (even her) if she were to just give him a chance. She always knew he would be the ruin of her, and tonight as she resolved to let him make this final decision alone, her premonition came true.  

Harvey gazes out of the window, watching the twinkling lights signaling the upcoming arrival of Christmas. With his customary drink in hand, his mind replayed the events that brought him here while Louis Armstrong played in the background. It seemed fitting with the snow fall lightly across the city; it even looked cold outside.

 _Shit like this just doesn't happen, right?_ He thought. _I mean, it could happen to some other people- those not named Harvey Specter that is. But there is no Goddamn way this shit is really happening._

"Donna!" he screams; his voice echoing in the darkness like a pebble falling down a well.

 _Where the fuck is she?_ He wondered silently. _She's supposed to know, to be here, to...._ \- and nope not finishing that thought.  Right, because she's gone; been gone. Because of that, she wasn’t here to stand by his side when their puppy (yes he will always be the puppy), walked in and told him of his choice to leave the firm, to leave **him.**

But no, it didn’t stop there- the shit storm currently swirling around the firm just kept on pouring. In the moments that followed, Harvey, having barely a few minutes to digest the words that fell from his young associate’s mouth, saw Rachel running towards him so choked up with tears; she could barely form words. Even then, he had to ask for her to repeat them because he couldn't have heard right. He just knew she didn't say Mike was arrested and taken away.

“And you let him go”, a voice snickered into his consciousness.

This wouldn’t have happened if Donna hadn't left, if Forstman hadn't forced his hand, if he would've just stepped up sooner. “Goddammit!” He curses slamming back the rest of his drink, relishing in the burn that snaked down his throat. The lawyer pinches his nose with his finger- trying anything to make sense of the world he has somehow found himself living in _._

 _Get a grip Specter_ he chided himself _._ _You got this. You're Harvey fucking Specter, the Best Closer in the City and there is nothing you can’t handle. When your dreams exploded along with your shoulder- you moved on. Law became your playground where you battled and dominated on a daily basis. Daring anyone and everyone to try and take it from you. And relationships?...,_ the pep talk forcefully continued, _you don’t do relationships, and you certainly don’t need them. It would be a **cold day in hell**  before you would let that happened. Cold day. _

And yet tonight, in the end, when it came down to it, he gave it up. Willingly even. “For the good of the company” he told himself; “to be the man he prided himself to be”, his mind quickly followed up. Not once did he acknowledge the other reason- the reason that came with blue eyes.

 _“But you need him…”_ came a different voice; the one he had locked away since the moment that man- child stumbled into his office. _“You’ve always needed him”,_ it whispered.

"Well fuck." he spat to the empty room, his sufficiently drained glass in hand.

Crossing over to the side table, he quickly poured two more fingers of scotch lifting it to his lips. The amber liquid went down smoother this time, easily flushing away the doubts, the feelings, and the burgeoning revelations. Only then did he realize he was no longer alone. She stood quiet in against the door jam, looking fresh as a Monday morning in her crème colored dress and matching Christian Louboutin heels.

“Donna.” he breathes.

“You rang.” she answered, tilting her head rustling her red mane. It was at that moment Harvey found himself unable to stop the onslaught of emotions threatening to overtake him in a wave of panic. His breath was becoming labored and his body began to shake as the broken man beneath the Tom Ford shell started to fight his way out. Words, started falling from his mouth; bubbling up from the depths of denial. Spilling all over the place in a rush to escape the prison they had been relegated to for the last several years.

“Mike…he's gone...they took him, I had to.. the company…”

“Shh” she utters quietly walking over to take her best friend, the man she would fight for against heaven and hell themselves if she had to, in her arms.  

“He was leaving, said he had to; I told him to go, but…”. He stopped himself from continuing, afraid of what might tumble from his lips next. 

“I know” she coos. Her hands started stroking his hair, giving him strength to see this all the way through. She knew this was the moment of truth. She waited silently, letting him find his way. For years she watched silently as their story play out in front of her. From the first smirk, through the many late nights, to the battles they fought together and those they waged separately. This journey had been a long time coming and it was time to see if it would bear fruit. 

”I don’t know how to do this” he whispered.

“Yes you do”, she answered. “Get busy livin', or get busy dyin'. **”**

 “That's god-damn right." The older lawyer automatically replied. "Shawshank? That's what you're going with?" he teased.

"Hmph, seems fitting. Don't you think?" she answers softly.

Minutes passed, with neither one of them moving until Harvey took a deep ragged breath, then another. When they finally pull apart his eyes are clear, steady. _Now or never,_ he thinks to himself.

“I can’t let him go, Donna. I... I love him.”

“I know.” She smiles. “Now go get your man and bring our puppy home.”

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first attempt at fan-fiction. Forgive the typos and the probable tense switches- its a lot harder than it looks!  
> I love Suits and have been on the Marvey train since episode 1.  
> Thank you for reading, I will work on getting better


End file.
